Day After Deer: Truck VS Buck

I'm taking a break from my Math homework right now. I logged on to my Connect Math to complete the two modules that I had assigned to me. Well, logged on this morning and I had six items on the cue, not two.  The teacher added four more assignments yesterday evening. I'm slightly overwhelmed, but I understand the concepts pretty well. It's probability, statistics, and a long section on percents. Pretty much all I did over the summer was fractions, fractions to percents, percents to fractions, fractions to decimals to percents, percents to fractions to decimals, etc. So that's well known ground. Probability I'm having issues with. My brain isn't quite grasping the whole bit about when factorials are needed after the initial 2C14 or 4P27. I'm having a hard time even explaining where I'm having issue- lol. Ah well. So, I probably shouldn't go into probability- guess Vegas is going to have to go on without me (it never had a chance anyway, mind you). I'd left my calculator in the truck last night, so I went and got it- and it's too cold to function at the moment. So I've got it sitting under my failing fan in my laptop. It's a mutualistic relationship: the Calculator is warmed up to a functioning temperature, the computer is cooled down by the ice pack that is my calculator. Remembering the whole 'I hit a deer last night' thing is crazy. I mean, the first time I hit a deer with a car it was a huge mess...

Observe- this is my Susuki Esteem after meeting with a 6 point buck. The car was [obviously] totaled. The radiator was smashed, the hood and quarter panel were crumpled, the headlight gone, the turn signal a mere memory. Inside the car was as bad as the outside. The windshield was still intact, but the rear-view mirror detached from it and landed under my gas pedal, my little purple buddy (for which this blog is named) was upside down in the passenger floor board, the airbags deployed (which burned my arm) and, in general, the car was just a mess.

Also Observe my 1996 Ford Ranger truck after a similar incident. The Deer was roughly the same size as the first one, I was going the same speed, and the situation was the same (In a curve at night, a deer jumps from the left side of the road to the right and doesn't make it.) I even hit the deer at the same point on the car as the first time.
The noticeable differences are that my airbags did not deploy (probably because they are faulty- but we're not going to dwell on that,) my hood is not crumpled, my mirror did not detach, the radiator is not smashed, and I did not spill my coffee. I mean, the hood isn't even warped, and my cracked windshield didn't break at the impact. The worst thing about this whole situation is that the headlight is going to cost about $200, and my grill (which is the only plastic on that vehicle) is smashed and will need replacing eventually. So in spite of the fact that my little truck isn't exactly thrilled by the whole situation, I'm still calling this one Deer 0, Truck 1. Still ain't happy about the scratches on the paint above the tire and on the passenger door- but it's an old truck that's working on being rusty anyway. (I really should sand the hood and paint something interesting on it...) My poor baby. I'm so sad.
Moral of this story: Buy a car that's made of metal- not that imported mess. Deer wrecks your Ford? Pop a new headlight in it, buy a metal grill, and get a tag that says 'SLAYER' so that all will know of your glorious victory. Deer wrecks your Susuki? Buy a Ford.

The worst part was the Impact. The impact of hitting a 160lb buck at 60 miles per hour- plus me putting the breaks on- it'll stop a car pretty fast. It's like it jerks your insides through your sternum. I don't know, I'm just irritated. I should probably go finish my homework.  

For a Brownie and a Double Shot Espresso...

So, I'm a stress eater. Yes. Yes I am. This is a bad thing for me- while it's not really affecting my waist size yet, it surely will in the next seven years. However, right now it isn't.
What's stressing me out this time? Well- my brother was in a wreck last Monday. Some lady didn't look when she was backing out of a parking place and ran into him as he was leaving the parking lot. How does this affect me? We're all on the same insurance right now, and a wreck is going to raise it for all of us. Further, dad and Jared are looking at costs for repairing the headlight that the lady took out, and at buying a new car. The insurance would help diffuse that cost, but it wouldn't cover it completely. Oh yeah- and I hit a deer on my way home from work tonight- so I'm down a headlight and turn signal too. Joy of all joys. Both our trucks have matching black eyes.
I'm so flipped out right now- it's not even funny how stressed out and miserable I feel. I think I might sleep a year and let my classes and responsibilities just rot for the mean time. Or I might drink four shots of espresso and stay up for three days, and still let my classes and responsibilities rot. 
We don't have any money right now anyway. I'm a college student who can't but hardly pay for her text books. I'm frustrated over all that I'm supposed to be paying for and all that I'm supposed to be handling. I mean, firstly, I really don't know how to organize everything I'm supposed to keep track of. I'm really not sure how I'm supposed to handle going to a four year college and paying for all this stuff at once. I mean- my folks aren't going to be here, I'm going to have to buy my own groceries and pay light bills etc. -Yeah, we will [hopefully] have help from dad with that; but let's face it- I wasn't prepared to be a breadwinner.
Too much is happening at once; I can't track with everything, this kind of juggling isn't my forte. Math Tests, Biology Dissections [didn't go over well], English Presentations, Finals, Trillian's wedding, internship applications, work (angry people at work), college applications, certain needy friends, truck headlights, four new tires, a new clutch for said truck, a new windshield for said truck, and a dieing fan in my computer, paying for my own Triple-A coverage.
Shoot me, please. Perhaps that Deer was trying to do me a favor?
I'll post pictures tomorrow...

Deck the Halls with Boughs of Finals,

Yes, we're already singing that song! It's November 25, 2012, and the homestretch is in sight! Now, I'm not going to lie- I'm not cool as a cucumber- but I do feel the need to point out that my mental distress is not Da Soli the fault of Finals. I mean, in all honesty there is a lot more pressure on my grades this semester than there ever has been. I'm not in danger of failing any of my classes- I'm still pulling A's in all of them. But I am in danger of getting a B or two, and that will pull my 3.67 GPA down, and I need all the GPA I need if I'm gonna get assistance for the next school year (assistance that I will desperately need.)
Also, I was sponsored this year by a lady in the community and I know that she didn't pay for a B. Everything I've attempted to assimilate this semester is fixing to be drawn into question, and there will be tests demanding that I regurgitate the facts and theorems that I've been memorizing all semester. There's some small stress involved there.
But, past all that, there's a deeper fear. Yes, I think I termed it right when I said it like that. There's a fear in me; something that knows that even if I ace all my tests and presentations and final exams and fly through it all like a careless lark in the morning- the semester will be over. That time will have been invested, and isn't going to come back. Why does that bother me? Well, my sister is getting married and leaving very soon- actually, twenty-seven days and a wake up. After that, I'll only have one class to take, then I'll be graduated. Everything is coming to an edge at once: My career as a Community College student is ending next semester. And I'm supposed to know where I'm going. Of course, that means I'll have to decide by January and then invest in that decision. I'm looking at ECU right now- and they're very expensive.
That's another thing that is staring me in the face. My dad wants me to look at four year colleges to get my bachelor's degree- I agree, this is very important- but in all honesty, I can't afford JCC on my own dime. I can't actually afford to pay the electric bills at the house right now (not that I actually have to right at the moment, but they're talking about being in Thailand by December next year- which will put me end of Semester 1 at whatever college while paying for my gasoline to and from the house on the weekends and helping pay the electric bills and for groceries. I simply don't have the means for that, even if my books and tuition was payed for in full. I don't see how it's going to work.)
Everything is fixing to change in a very big way. I can't help but feel a little left out there.
I've had to do a lot of fast growing up in my life- about every time my family moved I'd have to grow up some very fast in order to get on with life and make new friends. I had to do some serious growing up when my dad was deployed to Iraq. But this time it'll be different. This won't be 'doing some growing up' this will actually be the big one. In the next year I'm going to actually have to grow up- like, become a mature, self sustaining adult in my own right. I will not be able to lean on mom and dad, because they won't be there. I won't have my sister to get second opinions from because she won't be there. I'll just be me at college, and me and my brother at home- and my brother, while he is amazing and a great hard worker, is not a profoundly awe inspiring leader. He's really excellent about doing what he is asked to do, but is not incredibly gifted in situational awareness and heading up things that need doing.
This time it's for keeps. This time it's going to be for real. And this time, I'm no less scared than I was last time. But this is a quiet, calm fear. I guess I'd be a bit daft if I wasn't.
We've had what will likely be our last thanksgiving as a whole family. We can't look forward to a last Christmas  Trillian will be out by Christmas. I guess what I'm struggling with right now is fear, anxiety, and a small hit of depression. I've got so much going on, lol. ...And I swear, the next aunt that asks me "When's it going to be your turn?" is going to get stonewalled.