On September 16th of 2012 I started a personal blog. It was one of many, by no means the first- Actually, I had one under my real name [which I never kept up on], one under a pseudonym [which I did keep up on], and another that was a group project about a zombie apocalypse survival guide.
I started this blog for a couple reasons; though the main reason that I started it was because I needed someplace to put my thoughts in order and have them accessible from other areas- and I also said it was nice to imagine someone else listening. Well, new year, I suppose that means we're going to get a new purpose statement, (a new thesis?)
Yes, this blog shall no longer be about randomly putting thoughts down- though the thoughts will remain sparse and random. This blog shall hence-forth be a chronicle of my days, and a part of my family's web of Blogs to keep people update. Mom has a blog now, Trillian and Nate have a blog now, and adding mine to the trio we're going to have a way to keep up with people without demanding to be in real-time. This will be useful, as Trillian is soon going to be moved to Monterrey and mom and them are soon going to be living in Thailand. So, re-purposed as it is, this blog is going to get a bit of a facelift over the next week or so.
Also to do with #Purplebuddy'13, I've been reading through my posts, and while they are all accurate to my emotions and outlooks, I've realized that I'm rather a bore. I mean, I've done a lot of railing against Egypt's proverbial first-born here. I guess I should apologize for that. Part of me wants to go back and delete those posts, but the general attitude of the whole blog is still stressed out/emotional/frustrated. I think I promised in my first entry that I wasn't going to be an Emo Chick wailing that life sucked. I think I might have failed in that endeavor. I think I even requested that someone should shoot me once. Wow, was I stressed out? I guess I was. I didn't handle it very well considering.
I love new years. I love sunrises too. I love changing dates and new things. I think I forgot that in the craziness of everything that was going on last semester. I was so focused on the things that were going on that I forgot how much I love life. It's amazing really how quickly fear will make you loose your focus on the things you find most beautiful. It's also amazing how the things you think are beautiful can come back into focus when you take a step back.
We're still in a real transition phase right now. Trillian is up north on her 'honeymoon' with Nate, and I'm getting used to having my room to myself. It's lonely, but it's not a despairing lonely. It's not a cold isolated lonely. My last post ended with me admitting how I was nervous about going to my own classes Christmas party, and me admitting that I didn't know why. In hindsight, I think it was because I'm still not sure about my identity without my family. Or I wasn't just then. I think I've got this more figured out now. I know, it's not been that long since my last update, and I've discovered the meaning of life in that time. Actually, I haven't. But I did rediscover how sweet life is.
What brought all this on? Well, I've discovered that I've got more friends than I ever gave myself credit for, and I've discovered that there is incredible rest in trusting God, and not running from your calling.
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