I went to a friends baby shower yesterday. It was a lovely gathering! A large number of the people there were the family of the happy parent's to be, and the rest were members of their church family. It was really heart-warming to look around and see so many people stepping up to help this young couple and offer advice- not the overbearing 'you know nothing' advice- but advice like "No matter what you do in your raising of this child: be consistent.", and "Love conquers all", and "When people give you advice, smile and nod, then do whatever you feel is most natural."
It was a beautiful shower, and a lot of good things were given and gladly received. There was even a really sweet slideshow of pictures from mommy and daddy's childhood days. And that was when it struck me- Guys, we're in college. We're adults.
It's one of those age old questions- When did you start thinking you were an adult? When did you believe you were an adult? When did you actually become an adult? The effect of the question is the same, just phrased differently. When did I become an adult? I mean, seriously now. I had a post a while back that said "This is gonna be it- I've got to figure out how to grow up for real and actually become an adult." Well, yes. I'm twenty years old, I have a job, college and responsibilities. My friends are all getting married and having babies or turning twenty-something. Even the guys that I gravitate more towards (The youth/highschool 'kids') are graduating and going to college.
Guys, we're in college. I'm Twenty. I'm almost Twenty-one. And what have I made of my life thus far? It's a haunting question. I've had the chance to do so much, I've had plenty of opportunities to reach out and reach in, become part of a team. I've not made as much as I could have. I've invested my time and passions poorly- I mean, really.
I'm a scared little kid at heart really- I don't rise to the challenge often. I don't make decisions well because I'm afraid of failure or afraid of the responsibility that leadership brings. I'm afraid of investment, and I'm afraid of looking foolish. I may be a social creature and not hesitant to talk to people, but I don't make friends easily- I don't hold people close to my heart often because I've always had to leave them and it's easier to hold them at arms length. Every once in a while someone sees more than a glimpse of my heart, but it's not often. Every once in a while I let someone close enough to see that God put a spark in my heart when he redeemed me from my sin. It struck an ember in my heart that is burning to burst into a passion that will completely consume me- I know it will. It will burn me up and change me at the chemical level, from clay to glass.
I'm weak and afraid and shy, but God brings out nothing but the best in me. When I've been afraid and seeking shelter, He put me out on the edge of a cliff and taught me to open my arms and fall. Fall into his grace and power and mercy. I think he's doing that again. I think he's blowing on the ember in my heart and it hurts. God is changing me again.
Yes, he is. These are the days my friends- These are the days of change. These are the days when we have no option but to let go of our fears and fall headlong into the ocean of God's sovereignty, trusting in him to take care of the course- knowing that God's plan succeeds or we will utterly fail, never to rise again. I have no option- I can't stay this way anymore- the flame in my heart is kindling and to stay in this place as if nothing had changed may well kill me.
These are the days that all my insecurities have got to be scattered to the wind, my fears be drowned, and I simply choose and try new things, let people get close. I accept responsibility and forsake my old ways. The creature I am is afraid and fallen, but I'm called to be bold. I'm supposed to look different. My heart is changing, and I so desperately want to be different. I so desperately need God- and for the first time I desperately, desperately, desperately want to be on the cliff looking down into the ocean. I want to be told "fall" and I want to toe the line and struggle against myself. I want to fight my insecurities and let myself fall into the arms of grace. I will not offer God that which cost me nothing.
Deuteronomy 2:2-3 - Then the LORD said unto me: "You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north."
Isaiah 48: 18-19 - Forget the former things; Do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness, and streams in the waste land!
It was a beautiful shower, and a lot of good things were given and gladly received. There was even a really sweet slideshow of pictures from mommy and daddy's childhood days. And that was when it struck me- Guys, we're in college. We're adults.
It's one of those age old questions- When did you start thinking you were an adult? When did you believe you were an adult? When did you actually become an adult? The effect of the question is the same, just phrased differently. When did I become an adult? I mean, seriously now. I had a post a while back that said "This is gonna be it- I've got to figure out how to grow up for real and actually become an adult." Well, yes. I'm twenty years old, I have a job, college and responsibilities. My friends are all getting married and having babies or turning twenty-something. Even the guys that I gravitate more towards (The youth/highschool 'kids') are graduating and going to college.
Guys, we're in college. I'm Twenty. I'm almost Twenty-one. And what have I made of my life thus far? It's a haunting question. I've had the chance to do so much, I've had plenty of opportunities to reach out and reach in, become part of a team. I've not made as much as I could have. I've invested my time and passions poorly- I mean, really.
I'm a scared little kid at heart really- I don't rise to the challenge often. I don't make decisions well because I'm afraid of failure or afraid of the responsibility that leadership brings. I'm afraid of investment, and I'm afraid of looking foolish. I may be a social creature and not hesitant to talk to people, but I don't make friends easily- I don't hold people close to my heart often because I've always had to leave them and it's easier to hold them at arms length. Every once in a while someone sees more than a glimpse of my heart, but it's not often. Every once in a while I let someone close enough to see that God put a spark in my heart when he redeemed me from my sin. It struck an ember in my heart that is burning to burst into a passion that will completely consume me- I know it will. It will burn me up and change me at the chemical level, from clay to glass.
I'm weak and afraid and shy, but God brings out nothing but the best in me. When I've been afraid and seeking shelter, He put me out on the edge of a cliff and taught me to open my arms and fall. Fall into his grace and power and mercy. I think he's doing that again. I think he's blowing on the ember in my heart and it hurts. God is changing me again.
Yes, he is. These are the days my friends- These are the days of change. These are the days when we have no option but to let go of our fears and fall headlong into the ocean of God's sovereignty, trusting in him to take care of the course- knowing that God's plan succeeds or we will utterly fail, never to rise again. I have no option- I can't stay this way anymore- the flame in my heart is kindling and to stay in this place as if nothing had changed may well kill me.
These are the days that all my insecurities have got to be scattered to the wind, my fears be drowned, and I simply choose and try new things, let people get close. I accept responsibility and forsake my old ways. The creature I am is afraid and fallen, but I'm called to be bold. I'm supposed to look different. My heart is changing, and I so desperately want to be different. I so desperately need God- and for the first time I desperately, desperately, desperately want to be on the cliff looking down into the ocean. I want to be told "fall" and I want to toe the line and struggle against myself. I want to fight my insecurities and let myself fall into the arms of grace. I will not offer God that which cost me nothing.
Deuteronomy 2:2-3 - Then the LORD said unto me: "You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north."
Isaiah 48: 18-19 - Forget the former things; Do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness, and streams in the waste land!
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